Cowboy Taming
by Lunael
Summary: SeiferxIrvine Seifer is set on winning a freaked out Irvine's heart, even if the said cowboy has turned him down and is avoiding him at all cost. Obviously, the cowboy needs some taming. Rated M for later chapters, Slash yaoi SeiferxIrvine
1. Chapter 1

This is a little fic I've been thinking about for a while now and decided to indulge into writing because I've been busy working, studying and writing my plot for the adventure novel I'm working on for months and for my last few days of vacation, I needed to just relax. So I wrote this, for the kicks. I know, I shouldn't be starting a new fic when I already have people waiting for me to finish another one, but I couldn't help it. And it was awfully amusing to write too. An hysterically amused Zell Dintch is hysterically funny and the whole idea behind the fic was just too entertaining for me to pass. And God I love the title too. The title alone makes me chuckle.

My first Final Fantasy 8 Slash fic (shame on me, seriously), and it's one hell of a weird pairing too. SeiferxIrvine. I'm not even sure I've seen this pairing somewhere before, and I'm even less sure as to where it came from. Ahhh, what depth of perversion years of consuming yaoi fanfictions can plunge an innocent girl into. Hell, I don't even remember the sweet days I was still innocent. I might have never been, come to think of it. Now _that_ would explain a lot of things…

As English is not my native language, I didn't know any English super cheesy old novel quotes so I used one of _Deena_'s "Eating on Empty eyes" ones. Sorry for that, loved your fic by the way. **If you run into mistakes, be kind enough to inform me, I always want to improve**. Pretending-to-be-constructive bashing comments on how my English is weird and my structure so horrible the story is barely readable shall be ignored though. Thank you for your comprehension.

I don't know when I'll have the time to update, don't wait and just take the update when it will come. I know patience is all your strongest asset ;P

Written with love, for fun and delivered to you with pride and immense amusement. Hope you like it. Leave comments, I love to read them ^^

o0o0o0o

**Cowboy**** Taming **

Chapter one

Recently, things had taken a weird twist at Balamb Garden. Oh, it was not that the Garden itself had changed; classes were still filled with enthusiastic students, couples still liked to make out in the so-called secret area of the Training center late at night and the cafeteria was as out of hotdogs as ever. It was true though that since the world had been saved from the sorceress Ultimecia nearly three years ago, some things had changed at Balamb Garden. For instance, Squall had officially taken Cid Kramer's place as the Commander of the Garden – or more truthfully, he had been pushed into the position when the old Kramer decided to retire and leave the job in the poor broody teenager's hands. Quistis had been made Headmistress, a job for which she displayed a kind of cool efficiency that scared some, while Irvine, Zell and Selphie were assigned different teaching jobs and occasional high level missions. Rinoa had been going out with Squall for over two years and half now, which was both a good thing since she had single-handed succeeded in getting the angsty young man out of his shell, and a bad thing because she more or less constantly got on the nerves of every member of the Orphanage party – Squall included.

After a long, controversial and well-publicised trial that declared him unaccountable for his actions while under sorceress Ultimecia's influence, Seifer had finally been released from jail along with Fuujin and Raijin. He then withdrew altogether from society, and for the longest time nobody heard of him. But Edea and Rinoa claimed it was not healthy for him to live such a hermit life, and at their insistence (read: to make them stop nagging him about it), Seifer had finally agreed to come back to the Garden as a History and Sorceress specialist teacher and researcher, a job he was actually rather good at, to too many people's obvious dismay. The truth was his return to the Garden had left a lot of people sour, if the way people whispered on his way and sent him long, cold glares wherever he went was any indication. Although he had been made an Instructor, some people still refused to show him any respect and even went as far as to provoke him, making loud loathsome comments on his way or writing down insults on their homework sheets. What they wanted to achieve by doing that, nobody seemed to know, but if they expected the blonde to crack, they must have been horribly disappointed so far, because Seifer endured their constant harassment with a quiet resignation nobody had suspected him capable of.

The Ultimecia affair had been a life-changing experience for all of them, and it was especially true for Seifer Almassy. After the blonde had come back from his self-imposed exile, the gang hadn't known what to expect from him, but they hadn't dreamed that this adventure could turn the once arrogant and bellicose man into such a guarded person. It had taken a while to the Orphanage gang to get used to this new Seifer, who avoided interacting with people, spent most of is time hidden between a mountain of books in a remote corner of the library, whose favourite form of communication was noncommittal grunts and whose mind was always painfully unreadable. Yet they knew that some of the old Seifer had survived beneath this quiet facade in the way he smirked ever so sharply whenever he was amused, his eyes shining mockingly, and that thought reassured them somehow.

After a few weeks of uneasiness and hesitant steps, the Orphanage gang and the ex-gunblade user had started to hang out for lunch. Selphie, Quistis and Rinoa had tried their best back then to integrate Seifer and to get him to stop avoiding the world in general, but to everyone's surprise, the only person who had managed to get on somewhat good speaking terms with Seifer was Irvine. Nobody could quite explain how or why, but the two tall loners seemed to get along and over the months, they got used to see the self-proclaimed ladies' man and the tall blonde randomly hanging out together in relaxed silence, the cowboy occasionally providing the conversation to a usually silent Seifer. They weren't exactly best buddies, but they seemed to rather enjoy each other's company. Which of course left the girls more than a little irked, because while none of their efforts to get Seifer to be more sociable seemed to have worked, Irvine had no problems to make the blonde talk to him at all – and no intention to use their loose friendship to encourage the ex-gunblade user to participate to social events or to find out how he was "coping" with his troubled past. The thing was, they were convinced that with a traumatic past like his, Seifer needed someone to confide to, and therefore they all thought Irvine knew a great deal more about Seifer's feelings than anybody else. But to their great deception, no matter how hard they tried and how persuasive they were, they never got anything out of the auburn-haired man. The knowledge that Seifer trusted the carefree and unreliable cowboy with his darkest secrets and fears was already hard enough to swallow for Quistis and Rinoa, but not being able to get anything juicy out of Irvine, of all people, really bugged them to no end, and Zell made sure to tease them about it as much as he could. He found the idea of a traumatised and scarred Seifer finding in Irvine a trusted confident and shoulder to lean on very amusing and openly shared his opinion on the matter, which was that the girls' brains must have turned into mushy after reading too many of Quistis' crappy romance novels.

Zell was actually in relatively good terms with Seifer now that they man had somehow reformed himself. To the gang's secret relief and amusement, they sometimes even teased each other and bickered a bit when Seifer was feeling more talkative, and Zell sometimes even encouraged it.

But of course, none of this was what was causing the whole Garden and particularly the Orphanage party to have this strange impression that there was something wrong going on. No, it was something else.

To be truthful, it didn't take much of a genius to figure out what was wrong. For no apparent reason, the dynamics between the Seifer and Irvine changed drastically a little over two weeks ago. One day, they had been acting normally and the other, there was Irvine desperately trying – and hopelessly failing at - avoiding the blonde. At first it had puzzled everyone, but very rapidly the members of the orphanage gang figured out what was going on – and surprisingly, it was the apparently most clueless member of the gang, Zell, who caught on first. Not that he bragged about it of course, it would have insulted the girls in their assumption that they understood those kind of things better than the others since they were more sensitive. Tss, honestly.

They had never really talked about it, nor between themselves or with the protagonists of their local little drama, because of the cowboy's very obvious attempt to ignore the whole ordeal and because of their own understandable bewilderment and hesitation about what to think of the delicate situation. Besides, the very idea of it was so ridiculous that they rather thought they'd end up looking silly if they shared it with anybody else.

Zell, being his forward self, was of course the first one to ever mention out loud the two tall men's plight. The day it finally occurred, the cowboy joined Squall, Rinoa, Zell, Quistis and Selphie for lunch at their usual table, and as they were by then long used to, Seifer soon followed behind. As usual, Irvine ignored the tall blonde, ate his lunch and hurriedly left, pretending with that charming smile of his to have a lot of grading to do. And moments later, Seifer abandoned what was left of his lunch to Zell and went after the auburn-haired man. Their departure was followed by an awkward silence as the group watched Irvine purposefully walking long and hasty strides in a vain hope to distance the tall blonde, like he had everyday for now nearly two weeks. When they got out of sight, Zell crossed his arms and leaned into his chair, looking contemplative. Then, he finally brought up the subject they had all been avoiding talking about.

"You know what? I bet two hundred gils that Seifer gets into the cowboy's pants before the end of the Summer."

His declaration was followed by a thick silence.

"… Not happening," was Squall's flat answer. Selphie, being her exuberant and optimist self, fidgeted on her chair.

"Ohhhh come on Squall! Don't you think they'd make a cute couple?"

"No."

"Okay, maybe not exactly cute, but... I mean, don't you think they deserve each other?"

There was a generalized silence.

"…On second thought, maybe it sounds a little off put that way, but…"

"I'm sorry Selphie," Rinoa grimaced, "but I don't see this happening. The very idea of Seifer and Irvine together is just…"

"Weird," Squall finished her sentence.

"Yes, thank you honey."

"Gross, even."

Zell's comment deserved him a well-packed punch from his yellow clad neighbour. "Oww! What was that for?"

"I mean, I respect Seifer's choice of course," Rinoa went on, "but I wouldn't have imagined him falling for _Irvine_, of all people! Selphie or Quistis maybe… EvenZell would have made some sense, but this…"

"I don't know," Quistis said thoughtfully, "I think we might be surprised. After all, they did get along rather well. They might make a good couple."

Zell eyed his ex-instructor as thought he just realized she was a lunatic. "Quistis. We're talking about _Seifer Almassy_. Seifer and _Irvine_, the biggest skirt-chaser of the continent. How could they possibly make a good couple?"

Selphie pouted. "I thought you said they'd make a nice couple!"

"I didn't say they'd make a nice couple, I said they'd bang each other before the end of the Summer."

"Not happening."

"Come on, Squall! Can't you see the cowboy's in denial?"

"Still not happening."

"You wanna bet on it, baby?"

"Right on."

"_Squall Leonhart!_" Quistis yelled indignantly at her commander.

"I want in!" Selphie chirped excitedly.

"Wait, you can't _bet_ on their love life like that!"

Squall, Selphie and Zell stared blankly at their ex-instructor. "Hey, it's Seifer andIrvine we're talking about," Zell defended himself, as if stating the obvious.

"Zell's totally right; we've known them since forever, so it's alright! And besides it's just too juicy to pass: Seifer Almassy, the macho and proud manly man wooing so adorably Irvine Kinneas, the Garden's biggest womanizer." The small brunette let out a high-pitched giggle. "And Irvine is acting like a shy and innocent maiden!"

At that comment, Zell bust out laughing hysterically and Squall snorted. "More like a freaked out moron."

"That sounds like the crappiest soap opera I've ever heard of," Rinoa eyed Zell, who was still rolling with laughter, with concern.

"Oh, this is gonna be sooooo much fun! And the End of the Semester party is only a few days away! It's going to be the perfect occasion to help Irvine accept his feelings and indulge into Seifer's loving embrace!" In the background, Zell could be heard laughing even louder and falling off his chair.

"Irvine indulging into Seifer's loving embrace?" Squall asked sceptically, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "Irvine being a shy and innocent maiden? Why don't you say that Seifer is going to 'partake the flower of his virtue with his steel lance of love' while you're at it?"

"Squall," Rinoa said with a concerned voice, "I think if Zell laughs any harder he's going to lack of air and die."

Quistis sighed sadly. On the bright side, they had all finally accepted the situation as it was and lifted the weird taboo there had been on it. But with those three finally deciding time had come to tease the strange to-be couple restlessly, she could tell that Irvine was going to have a very rough week.

On second thought, make it a couple months.

As the auburn-haired teacher was going over the basics of status effects again, the bell announcing the end of the day rang.

"… that's why you need to constantly make sure you are clear of harmful status effects after you are done with a battle. That'll be all for today folks, don't forget to study hard for the final exam on Thursday. In the meanwhile, be good boys and girls and don't get caught bringing alcohol in Friday night," Irvine concluded, a knowing and playful smile on his lips.

There were a few laughs, a few giggles and a very loud clatter as the students packed their belongings and left the class, already making plans for the Summer vacations. Smiling to himself, the cowboy leaned on his teaching desk casually and waited for what he knew, from experience, was to come. And sure enough, about half a dozen of flushed-looking young women were purposefully staying back to ask him questions about the lesson. With a charming smile and trained patience, he took the time to answer all of their questions adequately, even though he knew very well that none of these students were all that interested in his explanations.

One may think that the cowboy was an untameable ladies' man, but Irvine Kinneas was proud to say that he was a deeply professional person, no matter what people liked to think of him. So of course, when he was offered an instructor job at Balamb Garden, he had stopped all flirting with students and even though it was hard to believe for some, he had never had any kind of relationship even close to a flirt with any of the cadets. The instructors and other staff members were another story altogether, but hey, he was Irvine Kinneas afterall; he sure wasn't going to stop all his skirt-chasing activities on the campus just because he was a figure of authority. That would be against nature, really. So he consciously refrained from engaging any of the cadets, sure, but that didn't stop him from always being charming and inviting with the young ladies – he was, after all, still a western-style gentleman. But to his mild sadness, his Galbadian manners and good looks sometimes got to the head of certain bold and forward teenagers. After a good fifteen minutes of outside class explanations, the group of flushed girls finally decided to take its leave, to Irvine's great relief.

But his relief was short lived as, as he took his notes with him and crossed the door, the auburn-haired man came face to face with a tall, broad-chested blond leaning on the hallway wall. At the familiar sight of Seifer Almassy waiting for him outside his classroom, the Galbadian's good mood instantly vanished and his shoulders tensed up. Swiftly, Irvine turned away from the ex-knight and walked away at a brisk pace, his gaze set firmly ahead of him. Inwardly cursing Seifer for having memorized so efficiently his class schedule and having legs so long it was impossible to distance him, the cowboy headed straight for his Seed dorm room, ignoring the man following him. But out of the corner of his eyes, he could see the blonde following still.

"Hey. How was your day?"

As usual, Irvine pretended he hadn't heard Seifer's question, which didn't seem to put off the ex-knight at all.

"As popular as ever, I see. I say, compared to your fanclub, even the Trepies are looking like amateurs. I really don't know how you manage to live with the knowledge that these hormonal girls have black market huge posters of you in their room." The man emitted a low, amused chuckle. "That would totally creep me out."

It took Irvine tremendous efforts not to twitch; how could Seifer talk about creepy things while _stalking _him? Couldn't the guy take the clue that he was not interested at all?

It was with immense relief that he finally reached his room's door. Hurriedly, he typed in the access code and entered his room, happy to finally get rid of his gay stalker. But as the door was shutting down behind him, Seifer put his hand on the doorframe and held it open, a lose smile on his lips.

"Why don't you come with me for a cup of coffee or something this weekend? To talk, nothing more."

Seifer was looking so confident Irvine had a sudden and irrational urge to strangle the damned blonde.

"I don't want to talk with you Seifer, why don't you get it?" Irvine hissed quietly. Seifer smirked at him.

"Why? What are you so afraid of? I'm not gonna bite you, you know." There was a pause, and then a very lewd smile "Unless you want me to, of course."

Irvine blushed and glared. "Get lost!" He spat back as he pushed the ex-gunblade user out of his automatic door's way. The door finally closed down and with his stalker out of sight, Irvine let out a relieved breath.

This was seriously starting to drive him nuts. He was Irvine Kinneas, the notorious ladies' man, for God's sake! Shouldn't it be clear to everyone by now that he was NOT attracted to males? He was not gay, in fact he was as far from being gay as humanly possible. The whole goddamned universe could tell, except that lunatic moron!

With a sigh, Irvine threw his trademark cowboy hat on his bed and nervously passed his hand in his long auburn locks, an old habit of his that surfaced whenever he was either stressed or embarrassed. Really, he knew he shouldn't get this upset over it; he'd had stalkers and persistent ex-girlfriends and one night stands before. Tons of them, actually. But somehow, Seifer was just… different. He was not desperate or hysterical for starters, but it was more than that. It was as though the blonde, strong in his conviction that he would give in sooner or later, was just waiting for him to accept his offer, which royally unnerved Irvine. To think most people thought the jerk had grown out of his arrogant ways! If they only knew.

But the most unnerving part of this strange and unrequited chase was that Seifer was actually _good_ at it. There was no denying it, the blonde he knew what he was doing. He was always looking casual and calm; never, not even once, had he shown hints of desperation or impatience. His manners were fluid and natural, inviting and just a bit suave – not too much, just enough. He made sure to be always there and be reasonably bold, but was never too insistent or inappropriate. And that's what freaked him out the most – Seifer was doing exactly what _he_ would do would he ever want to woo a reluctant man. Play the friendship card to the max, then confess and patiently chase the guy until he gave up and decided to give him a chance. Clearly, that was exactly what Seifer was doing, and that fact alone was enough to have Irvine panicking a little. Seifer was smoothly chasing _him_, Irvine Kinneas, the ladies' man! The untameable seducer! The goddamned flirt of the Garden! _He_ was the one who did the chasing, not the other way around!

The cowboy walked through his shamefully small bedroom and let himself fall heavily on his bed, trying to sort the mess that had been his head ever since the ex-knight had confessed his feelings for him. He wished he could forget that day… He wished he could forget the whole ordeal altogether, but of course Seifer made sure to remind him everyday by following him around the garden whenever he could. If he would have known what was coming, he would have run away.

'_You did run away'_ his traitorous mind piped in. At that thought, the instructor hid his face in his large hands with embarrassment - he sure was not proud of it, but after Seifer had confessed, he had panicked and literally run away like a scared twelve years old school girl. He, the smooth and cool seducer, he, who had been confessed undying love many times in his life before, even once or twice from guys, had just freaked out and run away. It was almost a laugh. But somehow, there had been something different about Seifer's confession, something that for some reason had totally unbalanced him. He guessed it was because he would have never expected Seifer, whose friendship he had come to consider precious, to have had during all these months they had spent hanging out _that_ kind of interest for him. In a way, it felt like Seifer had betrayed him.

Needless to say, he resented with all his being the blonde for chasing him in such a persistent and foul manner. The way he was always so nice and charming, yet so damned persistent and arrogant unnerved him. The way he followed him everywhere and always knew where to find him was driving him mad... Irvine was seriously starting to suspect Seifer had a GPS installed in his trench coat or something – if not how else could he possibly know where he was all the time? And while he was glad the ex-knight had never tried to grope him – thank God- he wished the man would just give him a reason, just once, to pack him one nice indignant punch and break his friggin' nose. But no, of course the bright Seifer never gave him any excuse to turn his stupid smirking face into a pulp for turning his life into a parody of itself.

Seifer… They had been getting along really well before all that mess. The man was doubtlessly one of the most hard-headed person he'd ever met in his life, and although the whole Ultimacia affair had dealt a serious blow to his ego, he still possessed a certain inborn level of arrogance and scornfulness that he constantly needed to keep in check – which left him bitter and guarded most of the time. In all honesty, Seifer Almassy really wasn't his definition of a nice guy or of a good friend, but there was something about the ex-gunblader user that made him nice to be around. Around him, there was no need to pretend, to be fake, nice or politically correct. You could make some of the most lewd comments and get a smirk for an answer, and you never were looked down upon in any kind of way when you went and "broke some poor unsuspecting sweet girl's heart again". Until recently, anyway.

Sometimes he wished they could just go back to how it had been before the blonde had had the grotesque idea to confess, but he knew it was stupid to wish for such a thing. Besides, the thought of hanging out with Seifer, even only as friends, totally freaked him out now that he knew the blonde had feelings for him. Even being near him made him feel uncomfortable; he kept getting the feeling that the history teacher was looking at him or thinking about him and it was so unnerving he couldn't stand it - eeling uncomfortable and nervous was totally unnatural for the smooth and carefree sharpshooter.

He really needed to stop thinking about Seifer – he was already too much on his mind as things were. It had been his last lesson before the Summer vacations, and that called for entertainment and celebration. Normally his first idea would have been to go flirting and dancing in some Deling city bar or even in Balamb, but lately he hadn't felt like flirting at all. No one could blame him, he had enough on his hands with Seifer as things were, he didn't need to complicate things by bringing a cute woman into the picture.

He'd probably end up spending the night at Selphie's watching old action-packed movies again. While he didn't quite particularly enjoy the vibrant young woman's tastes for movies, spending the night at Selphie had the big advantage of assuring him that his evening would be 100% Seifer-free and entertaining. And Selphie wasn't exactly hard to convince: all you had to do was to promise to bring the pop corn and the chocolate and she was in for a sleepless night of movie-watching and aimless chatter. God, he loved her sometimes. They dated for a while a few years back, but it didn't work out in the end – their perception of a relationship was too different, but they remained good friends nonetheless.

Now, all he had to do was to try to avoid Seifer in the cafeteria at diner time. Which was nearly impossible, but it didn't stop him from trying every time. Maybe this time he would have some luck and manage to spend some time with his friends before the tall blond man showed up? And if he was even luckier, his friends might forget to ask him again what was going on between him and Seifer. They seemed to believe that they had some sort of row and there were no words to express how glad he was that they were so oblivious - and so respectful of his private life, of course. He really did have great friends.

Yes, he inwardly repeated as he got up to take a short shower, if he was lucky he might have a nice, quiet lunch for once, and an even nicer evening.

o0o0o0o

TBC.

Enjoy and leave comments


	2. Chapter 2

When I started to write this story, I had no idea where I would take it after the initial first chapter. I guess I just liked to toy with the idea of a freaked-out Irvine. It turns out that the rest of the story didn't come naturally to me and although I've worked very hard on this chapter, I'm not satisfied with it. I can't help feeling that Irvine is far too out-of-character in this story. But at the same time, I guess it can't be helped: how am I supposed to write a freaked-out Irvine Kinneas (read: smooth and sexy in all occasions) in-character?

Once again, English is not my native language so if you run into mistakes or ill-phrased sentences, please let me know. But above all, leave comments to tell me what you think of this story so far ;)

o0o0o

**Cowboy Taming **

Chapter 2

That evening, tension was palpable at the orphanage gang's usual table as Selphie, Zell, Rinoa and Quistis waited expectantly for a certain auburn-haired man to show up, taking frequent glances at the cafeteria's entrance in hopes to finally catch a glimpse of him in the sea of cadets coming in. A mixture of anticipation and impatience made Selphie squirm nervously on her seat, Rinoa tap her polished nails on the table in a nerve-breaking manner and Zell shift from one position to another on his chair as they all waited for Irvine to show up. Quistis had mixed feelings about what she guessed her friends had in mind, but at the same time she was way too curious to know what was going to be said not to be there.

When they finally spotted the auburn-aired man entering the cafeteria and joining the queue to get his meal, a palpable rush of anticipation went through the small group. For several minutes, they all expectedly watched the cowboy's progression through the cafeteria line, wondering how to best confront the cowboy about the latest twist to his relationship with a certain blonde man. But when Irvine finally reached their table and greeted them with his usual enticing smile, they acted as if nothing was going on, chatting about the same kind of things they usually chatted about on mealtimes. But as the seemingly ordinary conversation went on, Irvine looked increasingly puzzled. Quistis glanced at her friends and bit her bottom lip; of course, Irvine Kinneas was far too perceptive not to notice there was something strange going on. Rinoa was giving Irvine one of what Zell liked to call her "too-sweet-to-be-true" smiles, which usually meant that she either needed a favour out of you or that she had been talking in your back moments ago - which were both common occurrences, actually. Selphie was looking quite hyper, but there was nothing particularly strange about a hyper Selphie, especially at this time of the year when she was restlessly recruiting "volunteers" and organizing parties. Their odd behaviour would have been overlooked if it had not been for Zell's definitely strange attitude – somehow, the loud and straightforward blond seemed secretly immensely amused by something, and that obviously made Irvine feel a little wary.

It didn't take much time before Seifer showed up and sat next to the cowboy, taking the seat Rinoa was obligingly offering him. The change that occurred in Irvine at the moment Seifer sat beside him was very subtle, but hard not to notice to a trained eye; his charming smile stiffened a bit and his purple eyes avoided artfully the newcomer by sparking a discussion with the tiny brunette sitting in front of him. The rest of his friends though greeted the tall blonde unusually cheerfully; in many ways their behaviour was far more telling than Irvine's, who acted as if he was too interested in Selphie's party preparations to take notice of his blonde neighbour. But as they ate their meal, it became obvious the cowboy wasn't as comfortable as he tried to let on. In fact, he was looking stiffer and more nervous than usual, which truly wasn't such a surprise, Quistis mused. It would be hard not to get a little anxious with everybody starring at the two of them so intently, or with Rinoa asking all those "beat around the bush" questions – the raven-haired woman seemed intend on – and failing at - making them come up with the subject of their relationship on their own.

At some point, Irvine had to ask.

"Are you guys alright?" He asked with drawl. "You look like you're holding on somethin'."

He didn't seem to be the only one to find everybody's – and especially Zell's - attitude puzzling.

"Yeah," Seifer spoke up, "what's up with you, Dincht? You look like you just got a blow job. Did you finally get laid or what?"

The comment having been made by Seifer, Irvine pretended not to have heard it at first. Even so, he couldn't help glancing with surprise at Zell when the tattooed young man only smirked at the direct taunt about his non-existent sex life – a subject he was usually quite sensitive about.

"Speaking of getting laid," Zell retorted with a sly smile, "how's your love life, Seifer?"

This quite unexpected twist was greeted by a thick silence as everybody stared at Seifer and Irvine with palpable anticipation. Anxiously, Irvine faked interest in his meal, hoping his neighbour was not gazing at him. But the blonde was not looking his way – he was staring at Zell, a quite familiar guarded expression on his face. He took his time to answer the question, but when he did, he sounded confident and relaxed, the ghost of one of his old foxy grins on his lips.

"Why are you asking? Would you be interested in me or what? I'm afraid to say, I don't do blondes."

"Nah, I was wondering because I bet 200 gils with Squall that you'd bang the cowboy before the end of the Summer."

That sentence fell like a ton of bricks. By the looks of it, had Irvine been eating while Zell had so crudely brought up the subject of Seifer courting him, he would have chocked on his food. The cowboy looked positively aghast. Beside him, Seifer merely seemed amused. "Is that so? Well, thanks for the confidence vote, Dincht."

"No prob. You better not let me down though, Almassy."

That seemed to shake the cowboy back to reality.

"What!" Irvine spat loudly. "R'ya outta your mind? There's now way I'd – I'd – with _him_!"

"Why not?"

"Why not? He's a guy, for God's sake!"

Rinoa frowned. "Seifer's above all a person with feelings who should to be treated as such. It wouldn't hurt you to act more nicely toward him." Irvine looked positively flabbergasted.

"Act more nicely? Why would I? The guy's stalkin' me!"

"Well I wouldn't have to follow you around if you actually let me talk to you," Seifer piped in with (very obviously fake) sorrowfulness. Irvine's head snapped around, his purple eyes sending daggers to the blonde. But it took more to deter the sorceress specialist, who greeted the sharpshooter's glare with an amused smirk. Fuming, Irvine looked away again.

"I don't want to take anybody's side, really. But this situation is getting ridiculous; don't you think you should talk it out like two grown adults?" Quistis proposed.

"Oh, but I'd love to," Seifer all but purred, and Irvine looked increasingly sulky.

"You don't know what you're talkin' about and this isn't your business anyway."

"How could it not be our business when you're acting so silly around us as well?" Selphie shot back.

"She's right," Zell added cheerfully, "Besides, we're only trying to help you with your love issues, aren't we?"

Seifer snorted. "By "we", you mean you too? Geez, I'm all thrilled to have the great confirmed bachelor Zell Dincht give me love advice."

"Say what you want Almassy, but if I were you I'd take all the help I could get – you don't seem to have gotten any further forward with the cowboy in the past two weeks. Ever considered the stalker approach might not be the best way to get into a guy's pants?" With a mischievous smile, Zell turned his attention toward Irvine and bent toward him in prying way. "I'm curious, did the big bad gay guy molest you or something, or are you just scared he'd jump you in public if you were caught together in the same room for more than a minute?" Selphie giggled and Seifer's eyes went to the ceiling, a small sardonic smile dancing on his lips.

"Zell," Quistis said warningly.

"Although that's quite a crude way to put things," Rinoa eyed meaningfully the smug martial artist, "you've got to admit there is some truth in what he just said. I mean, you can't say you've been acting nicely to Seifer. Being harsh and running away really isn't the way to treat somebody who has feelings for you."

"I don't understand why you're defendin' him."

"I'm not 'defending' him, I'm just saying you should be more considerate of his feelings. It's not by running away that you're going to solve your issues with Seifer anyway."

"Unless you don't really want to solve anything," Zell piped in sarcastically. "I bet you got molested and you actually LIKED it and it scares the shit out of you, so that's why you're avoiding him like the plague."

"_Zell!_"

Irvine's jaw muscles tensed up as he gritted his teeth. For what seemed to be the first time since Quistis'd known him, the easy-going auburn-haired man looked affronted. "You guys suck."

Everybody stared at Irvine in silence. The seriousness in the coybow's voice caught everybody by surprise. Getting the carefree and smooth galbadian embarrassed or offended was such a rare occurrence they hadn't thought he would ever get pissed over something like _that_. In silence, the gunner got up and walked away, taking his food tray with him.

"Irvy?"

"Hey! Don't take it like that baby, you know I was joking." Dumping his meal in the nearest trashcan, Irvine didn't look back and left the cafeteria. Seifer glared angrily at Zell and also left. Selphie punched the tattooed man.

"Oww!"

"Zell, that was really mean."

"Hey, how was I supposed to know he'd be so touchy about it?" The blond said defensively. "Besides, Irvine is far too easy-going to hold a grudge. He'll be all over it in a couple of hours."

They all knew Zell was right. It didn't change the fact that they all wished the blonde had been more tactful; they hadn't wanted to insult him. They also wished they'd had a lengthier discussion with the two men. But then again, the ladies thought, it might be for the best – afterall, those were probably not the kind of things Irvine wished to talk about in public… And the night was still young.

o0o0o

As eight p.m. came around, a very excited Selphie Tilmitt found herself knocking gently on her friend's seed room. When no one came to answer the door, she knocked louder, and louder, and louder, until she was literally banging on the door.

"Irvyyyyy~! Open up~!"

The sound of her tiny fist banging repetitively against the metal door echoed in the corridor, attraction some attention from the other male seed residents having rooms nearby.

At long last, the door finally opened up to reveal a gloomy-looking auburn-haired man smiling stiffly at her. "You're one persistent piece of work, I gotta give you that. The other ladies weren't half as annoying."

"Can I come in?"

"Well, you see, I'd rather-" The brunette didn't wait for the end of that sentence and edged her way into her friend's room, making herself comfortable on the cowboy's messy bed. With a sigh, Irvine closed the door, turned around and stared morosely at her.

"You meanie, why didn't you tell me earlier?" Selphie said excitedly. "Come on, I want details!"

Irvine merely sighed as he made himself comfortable on the sofa he had managed to cram inside his ridiculously tiny room, his cowboy boots resting on his small coffee table. "Tell you what?"

"Don't play dumb with me Irvine Kinneas! What's happening between you and Seifer exactly?"

At the mention of the blond's name, the cowboy's face darkened, a frown marring his handsome features. "There is absolutely nothing going on between us."

"Oh, come on! There's no point denying it now. He's been wooing you for _days_. Who do you think you were kidding anyway, huh? Did you think we wouldn't notice the 6"1' tall blonde following you like a puppy around the campus for two weeks?"

"Since when have you known anyway?"

"Well, lemme see, it took me five days and half to figure it out - but we all felt a little strange at first, we didn't know really what to think of it so we didn't talk about it – you must admit it was very unexpected, Seifer and you! Nobody'd seen it coming! I almost couldn't believe it myself, I thought I was imagining things! But now that I think about it, it was really super obvious, of course. Anyway! I was uneasy with the idea at first, but I've thought a lot about it and I think that you'd make a cute couple in the end, and Quistis and Zell do too, although Zell won't admit it-"

"Woah, breathe, Sephy! Breathe!" Irvine laughed, motioning her to slow down. "You've known for over a week but you just decided right now that you can't wait for details?"

"I told you, I didn't know what to think of it! Besides, we barely had time to talk about it, you were always on the run. So, what happened exactly?"

The cowboy sighed with mild exasperation. "What d'you want me to say?" He drawled tiredly. "There's a guy chasin' me around the campus tryin' to convince me to go out with him. I don't know what is wrong with the guy. I told him I was a lady's man hard and through and that he was wastin' his time, but he just won't give up."

"Did he confess? He did, didn't he? What did he tell you?"

To Selphie's surprise, a light-pink blush spread on her friend's cheeks, and Irvine looked away. "Nothin' worth mentioning," he mumbled.

"_Ooooh_!" The young woman squealed. "So it was a grand, romantic confession! Or… did he say something _sexual_?"

She knew she had hit the mark when Irvine's cheeks turned a little pinker still. "I don't wanna talk about it Selphie, 'kay?"

The young woman was momentarily disappointed – she was very curious to know what Seifer could have said to make the shameless tease Irvine Kinneas blush so adorably. But never mind that – she was starting at last to get a full picture of the situation. "So what do you intend to do now, cowboy?"

"Well, I guess I'm just plannin' to ignore him 'til he looses interest," the cowboy answered with a half-hearted smile and a shrug.

"But have you seriously considered going out with him?"

The man's smile disappeared. "You can't be serious, can't you?"

"Well, it's not like Seifer's _that_ bad. I mean, yes he's a guy, but he's independent, easy-going, smart, fun and you get along with him awfully well. He'd be perfect for you. Plus, there's no point denying that he's quite the looker. I mean, he's tall and manly and sexy and all. He's quite a catch, when you think about it."

"Selphie. He's a _guy_. I'm all into ladies, you know that."

The young woman shrugged. "That's not such a big deal. Why couldn't you do both?"

Irvine stared incredulously at her. "Do _both_? No way, that'd be…"

"That'd be what?"

"I mean, I'm very open-minded about gay and bi people, I respect them, I honestly do. But... I sure as hell am not one of them."

He had said he last sentence very slowly, as if explaining something to a slow child, and Selphie had to make huge efforts not to roll her eyes. "Irvy, I know things are a bit different in Galbadia and that people over there have a very conformist idea of masculinity, but being interested into guys wouldn't make you less virile or anything. And it doesn't turn you into a weirdo either. There are plenty of gay and bi people in Trabia and people are fine with it. I have a bi friend over there, she's the sweetest girl, really."

"Selphie, I know what you mean to say, but I'm really not like that," the cowboy said on a final kind-of voice. Then, his tone lightened up, "I mean, seriously, can you imagine me datin' a guy? It'd be ridiculous."

"I can, but the question is: _Can you_?"

"What r'ya gettin' at?"

"Have you ever considered that you could be attracted to Seifer? That could explain a lot of things, you know," the yellow-clad woman said matter-of-factly, and Irvine gaped at her.

"_Attracted _to Seifer? Dear God! I sure as hell ain't. What the devil put such a silly idea into your pretty head?"

"I know you, Irvine. I've known you since we were toddlers. And I think you want him back because you've been ignoring him."

Irvine blinked, looking thoroughly confused. "Sephy, I'm afraid you're not makin' much sense."

Getting up from the bed with a jump, Selphie started to explain her theory. "Usually when you have a clingy, unrequited love, you play it smooth and act like a gentleman. You talk it out with the lady to convince her that it wouldn't work out. With Nida too, you turned him down really nicely, even if he was a guy and all. And we can't say that you haven't had your lot of stalkers: remember that blonde one five months ago? She was a real pain, but you acted nicely, ignored her efforts and played dumb and she left you alone after a while. But you're acting differently with Seifer. At the minute he confessed, you started to avoid him as if you were afraid he'd give you some kind of disease. Why would you do that if it weren't for the fact that you're afraid of actually returning his feelings?"

"That's nonsense!" Irvine said loudly, looking perturbed.

"Is not! Then why else does it bother you so much that if follows you around and hits on you all the time?"

"Because he's a good friend!"

"That's what you keep on telling yourself because you don't want to see that you're attracted to him and that those things he told you when he confessed reached home. If I'm wrong, then look at me straight into the eyes and tell me his words haven't been on your mind everyday ever since?"

"Yes, but that's because they _traumatized_ me," the auburn-haired man explained with a frown.

"If you say that's how it is, I'll believe you. But remember you should always be honest with yourself. Weren't you the one telling me that life was too short not to explore as many possibilities as possible?"

"Selphie… I know life is too short, but I assure you this is not a possibility I will ever wish to explore."

The young woman nodded seriously. "Okay." She then smiled brightly at Irvine and bent toward him to kiss him lightly on the forehead. "Well anyway, think about what I just said, will you? And whatever what you decide, you know I'll always be on your side." She then waved him goodbye and headed for the door. On the threshold, she looked back at her puzzled friend as an afterthought. "Oh, and I want to be kept informed this time! See ya!"

Closing the door behind her, Selphie strolled happily through the corridors toward her own seed room in the women's wing of the dormitory. She was confident she had said what needed to be said and left the rest into Irvine's hands. She knew there was no point trying to force Irvine into anything; the man was as slippery as water! She just had to wait and see.

This was just so unexpected! Yes, she had bet along with Zell that Irvine and Seifer would end up together, but she hadn't really imagined that it could happen _for real_, you know what I mean? But she was seriously starting to think that Seifer and Irvine might just work out in the end. Oh, she wasn't satisfied with the cowboy's explanation - she had had her doubts, but know she knew for sure he somehow fancied Seifer, even if he wasn't concious of it yet. Well! Who could have predicted that Seifer, of all people, would be able to inspire Irvine such feelings? She sure hadn't! But it was all for the best: Seifer needed someone to share a special bond with and Irvine needed to settle down a bit, and she was staring to think the tall taciturn man could manage the feast of having a serious, steady relationship with the flirty cowboy. Once again, who would have thought?

Selphie couldn't hold in a giggle as she thought of Irvine going out with a man. That would be so strange, but also cute in a kind of twisted way. She wondered what Irvine and Seifer's relationship would be like behind closed doors… But she guessed she didn't really want to know. It was much more entertaining to imagine it, afterall!

With a satisfied smile, she went back to her own room and pushed the matter out of her mind entirely as she applied herself to find the right music list to play on the End of the Semester Party she was organising. With an afterthought, she scolded herself for not having thought of recruiting Irvine to help her out with the party preparations. It wasn't like Irvine was the best helper she's had – he spent more time flirting with the other girls of the committee than actually working – but they always needed tall guys like him to install the garlands. She'd try and run into him again the following day.

o0o0o

Selphie was slowly awaking from a pleasant dream involving caramel-flavoured wendigo stuffed toys – it didn,t make much sense, but her dreams never did. Sleepily, she hugged her bed covers closer and was drifting back to sleep when she distinctively heard a sharp, repetitive sound. Knock Knock Knock. With a frown, she turned around and ignored the irrelevant sound.

But it came again. Knock Knock Knock. By then, she was starting to be enough awake to realise someone was knocking on her door. Or maybe she was imagining it?

Knock Knock Knock. No, she wasn't. Lifting one heavy eye, she decided it was far too dark out for anyone to be at her door. A quick glance at her alarm-clock confirmed it. She hoped the reason why somebody was knocking on her door at 4:58 a.m. was reeaaaaaally good, or else she had a feeling she might not be all that polite to her visitor.

With a yawn, she got up and sleepily made her way to the door. Upon opening it, she found herself in front of a very nervous-looking Irvine Kinneas.

"Irvy?" She asked sleepily. "What're you doing here?"

Actually, she wasn't really surprised to find him there. Irvine was the only person she knew who could randomly show up at your doorstep at any hour of the night looking for a place to hide, and because he was a good friend she never had a mind to let him down when he was in trouble, even if he kind of had if coming most of the time. And in trouble, he sure seemed to be, she noticed as an afterthought. He was pale and had rings under his eyes that spoke volumes on his lack of sleeping activities.

"We need to talk," the pale sleepless auburn-haired man said urgently.

"What's wrong?"

"Selphie," the man growled wearily under his breath. "I._**hate**_.you."

o0o0o

TBC

Please leave comments!


End file.
